With day 1 now safely tucked under my slightly looser belt, I'm happy to report that so far, so good.
The day started with an early alarm to pick the lovely BTB from the airport. Upon arriving home at around 8am we excitedly unwrapped 'breakfast', this being two garcinia tablets, to be followed in 20 mins by 4oz of aloe vera gel.
Now I'm a bit of a research geek, and as such I frequent numerous online info sites, forums etc seeking out snippets of info/opinions of previous detoxers for their experiences. The near universal feedback of detox veterans is that the gel is, quite frankly, rank. I was therefore expecting the worst, but determined as I am, figured if I can knock back Aftershocks then I can manage a drop of gel.
What my forum stalking did not reveal however, is that the garcinia tablets are of a size more akin to horse pills than a dainty, flowery sounding supplement like "garcinia". Frankly, I didn't know whether to stick them up my botty or take them to the vets. However, I soldiered on, took the two missiles swallowed down with copious amounts of water, and off I trotted to be measured.
And that's where it all went wrong, or all went right, depending on your viewpoint.
First I hopped up on the scales for the day 1 weigh in. 10st 10lbs. Eeeeeek. I'm usually around 10st 2, although can fluctuate by half a stone either way. However, like many women, my weight appears to be directly related not to what I eat, or how many calories I burn in the gym, but to my love life, and how content I am. A good old fashioned dose of heartbreak and I can lose a stone in a week. Currently though I appear to be very happy, if my scales are telling the truth.
Undefeated I plod off to the bedroom and out comes the tape measure.
What happens next just ain't pretty.
Firstly, I measure my bust. That was pretty much as expected, as were my arms and thighs. However, when looking at the waist measurement I nearly fell over! 31.5"!!!!!! That's a mansize waist! What happened to the svelte 24" inches of my youth? Initially I was in denial, then I thought I'd been sold a duff tape measure. Or perhaps I'd measured in cm my mistake? But no, apparently the numbers do not lie. I really am that much of a bloater.
Matters were not assisted by the hip measurements. 37". So much for the apparent ideal of there being 12" between bust and waist, and 12" between waist and hips. If there were 12" between my waist and hips I'd have to have my doorways widened.
So, fired up by these depressing figures my determination was set. Off I pop for the aloe vera gel.
This was the moment I had dreaded. It is difficult to capture the horror that is this revolting, bitter sludge, and I was for a moment tempted to say "sod it" and fire up the pan for some bacon and eggs. But no, the 31.5" and 37" numbers were screaming at me, so I decided to be a big soldier and just knock it back. And you know what? It's not that bad. Really. I mean, I'm not going to lie and say it's mother's milk or owt, but it didn't strip the enamel off my teeth as I'd expected going from the smell of it. So with that out the way back goes another glass of water and it's off to exercise.
Now as I have already said, me and exercise are not comfortable bedfellows. I can think of a million things I'd rather do with my time, ranging from colonic hydroptherapy treatment to scraping my eyeballs out with a spoon and serving them up in a casserole. However, needs must (31.5", 37") and so on go the trainers and out comes Shaun Bloody T and his Insanity workout.
O.M.G.
That was just the fitness test? 25 mins of squatting, leaping, lunging, press-upping - 31.5" and 37" start to seem not so bad. But, not one to be beaten, I continue on. And I finish it - hurrah! Feeling pretty good, and pretty flaming smug, I am.
Mid morning I start to get hungry, and so am looking forward to my mid-morn snack of... bee pollen tablets. Seriously? That's it? Apparently so. At least these look like they were made for human consumption though and I have no questions as to which end to put them in.
Lunch comes round quicker than expected, given the early start and lack of food (its now 16 hours since my last meal) and it's more garcinia tablets, another shot of gel and a protein shake. Chocolate flavour. I'm not really a fan of milk shake but by now I need something so downed it almost in one. DELICIOUS! Now it may be because my stomach thinks my throat's been cut, but it was truly so lovely I was sad it was gone and will be 24 hours til I can have more. And strangely, given that it's made with skimmed milk, it was filling too. I didn't think about food again for a couple of hours.
After lunch however, I found myself unable to stay awake and absolutely freezing cold. I took a nap for an hour or so, but even then had no energy for more than a mammoth Grey's Anatomy session with BTB (who was also feeling cold and tired).
Dinner and evening snack have little to report, save that it's more garcinia, more gel, more bee pollen, no more shake (boo). The gel is getting a little harder to stomach as the day goes on, but its still doable. 31.5' and 37'. It keeps me going. By 9pm I'm desperate for bed, but hang on til around 10pm, and other than waking briefly when my beloved came to bed around 1am, I sleep through until 8.45am! Dead chuffed with that I am.
So all in all, day 1 was a bit of a breeze. Apart from being a little hungry I've had no side effects, and I'm excited about the prospect of increased energy, losing weight an inches, clearer skin etc. But mostly, I'm looking forward to Monday when I can eat!
And that's where it all went wrong, or all went right, depending on your viewpoint.
First I hopped up on the scales for the day 1 weigh in. 10st 10lbs. Eeeeeek. I'm usually around 10st 2, although can fluctuate by half a stone either way. However, like many women, my weight appears to be directly related not to what I eat, or how many calories I burn in the gym, but to my love life, and how content I am. A good old fashioned dose of heartbreak and I can lose a stone in a week. Currently though I appear to be very happy, if my scales are telling the truth.
Undefeated I plod off to the bedroom and out comes the tape measure.
What happens next just ain't pretty.
Firstly, I measure my bust. That was pretty much as expected, as were my arms and thighs. However, when looking at the waist measurement I nearly fell over! 31.5"!!!!!! That's a mansize waist! What happened to the svelte 24" inches of my youth? Initially I was in denial, then I thought I'd been sold a duff tape measure. Or perhaps I'd measured in cm my mistake? But no, apparently the numbers do not lie. I really am that much of a bloater.
Matters were not assisted by the hip measurements. 37". So much for the apparent ideal of there being 12" between bust and waist, and 12" between waist and hips. If there were 12" between my waist and hips I'd have to have my doorways widened.
So, fired up by these depressing figures my determination was set. Off I pop for the aloe vera gel.
This was the moment I had dreaded. It is difficult to capture the horror that is this revolting, bitter sludge, and I was for a moment tempted to say "sod it" and fire up the pan for some bacon and eggs. But no, the 31.5" and 37" numbers were screaming at me, so I decided to be a big soldier and just knock it back. And you know what? It's not that bad. Really. I mean, I'm not going to lie and say it's mother's milk or owt, but it didn't strip the enamel off my teeth as I'd expected going from the smell of it. So with that out the way back goes another glass of water and it's off to exercise.
Now as I have already said, me and exercise are not comfortable bedfellows. I can think of a million things I'd rather do with my time, ranging from colonic hydroptherapy treatment to scraping my eyeballs out with a spoon and serving them up in a casserole. However, needs must (31.5", 37") and so on go the trainers and out comes Shaun Bloody T and his Insanity workout.
O.M.G.
That was just the fitness test? 25 mins of squatting, leaping, lunging, press-upping - 31.5" and 37" start to seem not so bad. But, not one to be beaten, I continue on. And I finish it - hurrah! Feeling pretty good, and pretty flaming smug, I am.
Mid morning I start to get hungry, and so am looking forward to my mid-morn snack of... bee pollen tablets. Seriously? That's it? Apparently so. At least these look like they were made for human consumption though and I have no questions as to which end to put them in.
Lunch comes round quicker than expected, given the early start and lack of food (its now 16 hours since my last meal) and it's more garcinia tablets, another shot of gel and a protein shake. Chocolate flavour. I'm not really a fan of milk shake but by now I need something so downed it almost in one. DELICIOUS! Now it may be because my stomach thinks my throat's been cut, but it was truly so lovely I was sad it was gone and will be 24 hours til I can have more. And strangely, given that it's made with skimmed milk, it was filling too. I didn't think about food again for a couple of hours.
After lunch however, I found myself unable to stay awake and absolutely freezing cold. I took a nap for an hour or so, but even then had no energy for more than a mammoth Grey's Anatomy session with BTB (who was also feeling cold and tired).
Dinner and evening snack have little to report, save that it's more garcinia, more gel, more bee pollen, no more shake (boo). The gel is getting a little harder to stomach as the day goes on, but its still doable. 31.5' and 37'. It keeps me going. By 9pm I'm desperate for bed, but hang on til around 10pm, and other than waking briefly when my beloved came to bed around 1am, I sleep through until 8.45am! Dead chuffed with that I am.
So all in all, day 1 was a bit of a breeze. Apart from being a little hungry I've had no side effects, and I'm excited about the prospect of increased energy, losing weight an inches, clearer skin etc. But mostly, I'm looking forward to Monday when I can eat!
No comments:
Post a Comment